A week ago I turned 44. I have lived 4 years into my 4th decade. This is no small feat since Bipolar Disorder often makes it hard to survive life. 41 was the worst tour since 30 and 31. I have to say that I am grateful that the last three birthdays have been nothing … Continue reading Mania Has to Be Good for Something, Anaa?
No one can support all the grief I hold. I've known that for a while now. Sometimes it makes me whisper: I can’t do this anymore. The funny thing is that I could have been laughing and chatting up a storm with different people over the course of an evening and then boom I end … Continue reading No One Can Hold All This Darkness
There is an emoji on my phone that has emoji Kuukua holding her nose from the stench of the thrash that is 2019. I am not quite sure I'd bag the whole 2019 and hold my nose on my way to the dumpster, but it was a rough year for a good chunk of the year. The year did have its moments of reprieve when something wonderful happened and I was just so thankful to have been witness to it, recipient of it, or the benefactor. Those are the moments I wish to focus on and give thanks for.
For as long as she could remember she had been dancing to the rhythm of her demons. Sometimes they'd grant her respite and she would feel the illusion of control so much so that she could almost taste normality. Sometimes she would forcibly take her own respite and with wanton abandon refuse to follow her … Continue reading #52essays: Demons
The depression came late this year. For the last two weeks I've been battling to stay alive. There are lots of good things happening all around me but the really shitty thing about the sickness is that it brings with it myopia and the only thing you can see are all the negative things happening … Continue reading #52essays: Sometimes there is only Silence