Mania Has to Be Good for Something, Anaa?

A week ago I turned 44. I have lived 4 years into my 4th decade. This is no small feat since Bipolar Disorder often makes it hard to survive life. 41 was the worst tour since 30 and 31. I have to say that I am grateful that the last three birthdays have been nothing … Continue reading Mania Has to Be Good for Something, Anaa?

No One Can Hold All This Darkness

No one can support all the grief I hold. I've known that for a while now. Sometimes it makes me whisper: I can’t do this anymore. The funny thing is that I could have been laughing and chatting up a storm with different people over the course of an evening and then boom I end … Continue reading No One Can Hold All This Darkness

The Bank

And she said, “I just want to write.” And I look at her and smile remembering the belly laugh we just had over dinner. Rubbing our own bellies and comparing and contrasting our body flaws not realizing that the flaws are our interpretation of perfection. Not realizing that the bursts of laughter coming from apartment … Continue reading The Bank

Afihyia Pa o! Afihyia Pa!

There is an emoji on my phone that has emoji Kuukua holding her nose from the stench of the thrash that is 2019. I am not quite sure I'd bag the whole 2019 and hold my nose on my way to the dumpster, but it was a rough year for a good chunk of the year. The year did have its moments of reprieve when something wonderful happened and I was just so thankful to have been witness to it, recipient of it, or the benefactor. Those are the moments I wish to focus on and give thanks for.

#52essays: Demons

For as long as she could remember she had been dancing to the rhythm of her demons. Sometimes they'd grant her respite and she would feel the illusion of control so much so that she could almost taste normality. Sometimes she would forcibly take her own respite and with wanton abandon refuse to follow her … Continue reading #52essays: Demons