"Even when I'm happy, there is a something between me and whatever good news comes my way. It's like eating a butterscotch still sealed in the wrapper." This one, made me take a pen to write it down. It seemed to describe the ravages of mental illness very well. There is almost always a fear about being and feeling completely at ease in a happy thought or in something pleasant that happens to you. It's even worse when you are caught in the throes of a particularly bad stroke of luck and life seems to be playing a sick joke on you. You are staring at a bowl of butterscotch candy and when you touch one, you find out they are all just wrappers. At this moment I can't see the forest for the trees.
The depression came late this year. For the last two weeks I've been battling to stay alive. There are lots of good things happening all around me but the really shitty thing about the sickness is that it brings with it myopia and the only thing you can see are all the negative things happening … Continue reading #52essays: Sometimes there is only Silence