A close friend of mine told me about the impermanence of things and getting attached to things that will pass away inevitably. Like this pain and regret for trusting yet another white person. She explained that if all things will pass away then it makes no sense to let it consume us as much as it usually does. I think as true as this is, it's still difficult to live by it because we as humans are conditioned a certain way. Will my non-attachment prevent me from this feeling right now?
Maybe these are thoughts that happen as one gets older and starts to take stock of what’s important. Or maybe these are just thoughts of someone who has been challenged by reflecting because of the absence of my native language in my life this week. Whatever it is, I am here at the paper, writing and that’s a feat accomplished not for any colonizer, despite the fact that I have written all this in English.