GONE

We are not broken up/you are not dead/yet my tears just refuse to/stop flowing

Every little thing/reminds me of you/I can’t play Meshell today/didn’t want to hear Lauren or Tracy yesterday

I make rice and notice/I only have to make one serving/I wrangle up a new batch of tears/while measuring/I see the last bowl you used for cereal before you left/you are not here to fight with over whose turn it is to do dishes or sweep the floor or fold laundry or….

I guess I wasn’t ready/for this day/never thought it would be quite this way/it bothers me/that I am crying this hard given/how fiercely we fought

A part of me feels silly/for crying this much knowing it’s not over/or is it

I’ve resisted going online/stalking your page/waiting for tweets/I’m left with status updates

I must say that at 35/this is one thing I thought I’d figured out/Meet ‘em. Love ‘em. Bang ‘em. Thank ‘em. Leave ‘em/but somehow you made me go somewhere new/now I can’t go back

Today Gospel is the only music/I can listen to/that’s the one genre we didn’t share/but even they/keep telling me I’ll make it through/I already know this/I don’t want to hear it today

Your frame/plopped on the couch/hunched over your laptop/is now just an image in my head/the back of your head/no longer bobs/to music/as you sit at your desk

All I keep thinking is/I gotta move soon/I can’t sit here/crying all day/but for now…I do